It’s so difficult for me to understand, accept, and remember that I am where I need to be. So many times I vow to surrender and I cannot seem to keep that promise. I forget to remember that God has a plan for me and that all good and perfect things have arrived divinely. Things that I didn’t even know I wanted or needed have arrived without me attempting to control its outcome. I will at least take the credit for the fact that I am more aware of it. That I am also becoming slightly more disciplined by keeping up with my yoga practice and I am working on becoming the best mother my children deserve and need. And yes, I know I am enough but I’d love to be the best version of myself for them. God entrusted me with these little gems and I hate to crush their spirits with my less than pleasurable ways. I am complex. And my little guy is the exact mirror of those complexities. I need to show myself grace so that I can easily show him grace. I need to practice being more loving and understanding towards myself so that I can pour that same compassion unto him. My oldest is highly sensitive and I have a difficult time accepting sensitivity. Therefore, I need to work on being comfortable with vulnerability in order to lovingly comprehend and accept his sensitivities. Nonetheless, they are both sweet and kind and beautiful and funny little humans who bring my life joy and purpose.
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